Saturday, November 5, 2011

Motivation may be found in strange places...

As usual, I've been struggling with finding the motivation to study.  We have a small animal medicine exam in a couple of days, I have little to no interest in the subject, and I'm busy enough that it's not hard to find excuses to put it off.  So far today I have managed to stay busy, but somehow haven't found time to bust out the small animal cardiology and emergency care notes.  I had to go up to school twice to take care of my surgery dog, I washed dishes, cooked some pasta to keep me alive for the next few days, went to the grocery store, played with my dog, annoyed the landlord's donkey, read about some other interesting subjects, tweaked my registration schedule for the upcoming ruminant wetlab, updated my resume, fed my horse, cleaned water troughs...and then I opened up the new issue of Cutting Horse Chatter that came today.  It's like my portal to the world I used to live in, and miss very much.  As I was flipping through the pages, mostly stallion ads and ads for horses entered in the upcoming Futurity sale, I came across an ad for a stallion I know very well.  I was, in fact, the first person to see him when he entered this world.  Now, he has earned over $300,000 in the show pen and rates a full page spread with a long list of his syndicate owners and a $2500 stud fee in just his second year in the breeding shed.  He's part of cutting horse history, though he may become a footnote if his foals don't show well in a few years.  His syndication value was most likely measured in the millions.  This is why I get up in the mornings.  He was one of several big-time show horses that came out of the foal crop that year, and I am the one who got to introduce them to the world.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Admittedly, it's dim right now, but I'm getting closer to the time when I can rejoin the lifestyle I love and that I believe is responsible for some of the best things in me today.  Cooperate to graduate will be my mantra for the next 551 days.  I also saw a pick-up today that looked a lot like the one Big Man used to drive.  It made me tear up, which is ridiculous, but it's good to know he's still watching out for me.  I'm not sure I'll ever see a white crew-cab Ford with a headache rack again without catching my breath.  I know it's not him but there's always a second where I hope.